For many couples, it is hard to find a positive perspective on their divorce, especially when the circumstances surrounding it have been anything but pleasant. We have all heard the horror stories from our friends, family, and neighbors; it is only natural to compare those accounts with our own and, as a result, only see the negative aspects of the split.
Undoubtedly, divorce is often a hurtful, turbulent, emotional experience. Regardless of the negative nature of the situation, however, there are advantages to being placed in a situation where you are forced to end a relationship and start fresh.
What You Gain from the Loss
Experts from Psychology Today tell us that benefits of divorce do in fact exist, although the key to recognizing and embracing them often lies in harboring a certain perspective—one that keeps the focus on the unique circumstances that define your divorce, and your divorce alone. Consider the following when you find yourself feeling discouraged by the loss or “failure” of the split:
1. Better focus on your personal goals and dreams – As sad as it can be to say goodbye to a marriage, one of the biggest benefits you can reap from shifting from couple life to single life is the chance to invest more energy and greater focus on your own personal goals and dreams. If, like many individuals, you have lost sight of what those goals look like on your own, without your spouse by your side, you have an even greater opportunity to explore what makes you happy again and uncover what you are truly passionate about in life.
2. Less stress at home – Once you and your spouse are separated, you are no longer faced with the daily challenges that accompany living in an unhappy marriage. You can recreate your living space to be a peaceful sanctuary, instead of a place that brings you stress, sadness, and discomfort. Less stress at home means more opportunity to recover from the grief and move on to a happier, healthier version of yourself.
3. Improvement of both mental and physical health – In addition to the opportunity to increase your focus on your goals and dreams, starting over also gives you the chance to improve other areas of your life and experience growth you may not have achieved had you stayed in an unhappy marriage. According to experts, a majority of people bounce back well from divorce, and some grow in leaps and bounds. The decision to leave a poor relationship can often be a sign of good mental health—or the sincere desire to improve or maintain the quality of one’s mental state. An advantage to taking care of your mental health is that your physical health benefits, as well. The clearer your mind is and the more motivation you have to move forward, the more likely you are to also look after your physical well being.
The journey after divorce can appear dismal, even when the split is a civil, mutual decision. However, new insight and personal growth await on the horizon. If you are about to embark on the divorce process or have already begun to file, speaking with a knowledgeable DuPage County divorce attorney can provide you with the guidance and resources you need for a successful separation. Call Roscich & Martel Law Firm, LLC today at (630) 793-6337 to protect your rights in a court of law.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/splitopia/201701/good-divorce-advice-resist-the-urge-compare
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/healthy-divorce.aspx